Spiritual Difficulties, Part 3: Judgment, Talkativeness and Silence.

     These are not among the eight tempting thoughts enumerated by the great monastic teacher Evagrius, but is clearly an important problem for us in the world, and enfolded within those other basic passions he describes. This constellation of concerns also touches on very important elements of our celebration of Pentecost. It is also very important for us outside the monastery to see how troubling talk and ease of socializing can be. It is a privilege that conceals many problems.

    We often talk without knowing why, how or where our words come from. In Church communities that are in the world, not in a monastery, talk is a problem because it thrives on the approval of socializing and the need to fill silences with words. St. James addresses this, and we can see why: people were clearly making problems between him and St Paul! St Paul also talks disparagingly about people who have claimed to carry St. James’ authority (“certain men came from James…” Galatians 2:12). St. James tells us:  “If any one thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this man's religion is vain.” (James 1:26) He even goes as far as to sort of “exorcise” the “tongue:”

So the tongue is a little member and boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is an unrighteous world among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the cycle of nature, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by humankind, but no human being can tame the tongue - a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brethren, this ought not to be so. (James 3:5-10)

Yet we are now celebrating the “tongues of fire” that came upon the Apostles. The question is how to live with the unfortunate need to speak human words with other humans. The thing that Pentecost does is to give us a better speech—theology. Pentecost gives us speech which is not focused on human vanities, but on holy and divine things. It is speech which forgets the world, or rather, the world outside of salvation. All that world contains, even sin and hell is part of the wisdom that God expresses in the true Word of theology, Christ. However it is not sin and hell as distractions or failures but as places where Christ meets us and teaches us the beauty and the song of salvation and leads us upward from the depths of despair.

   I have often thought about what a different picture our Orthodox priesthood presents than what we see often depicted in other Christian practices. The Orthodox priest, unlike the pastor in other traditions, is seen as someone who should be quiet, reserved, keeping words for holy use. He is not a customer service person, an entertainer, or a great schmoozer. I have often told nice, reserved converts to Orthodoxy: “you would be a good priest!” They are shocked! They say: “I am introverted, I can’t speak comfortably or command a social situation or audience.” But that is a more virtuous situation, to be a quiet person... I am attaching some of the deepest, most traditional words below, words that shock us with this depiction—a person dedicated to the Church should be uneasy with social situations and their pitfalls. This principle is not just for monks, it represents the monks discovery of the elements of a good spiritual life, that we must, despite being in the world, appropriate for ourselves. The following are from St. John’s Ladder, steps 10 and 11 on “Calumny” and “Talkativeness.”

I have heard people slandering, and I have rebuked them. And these doers of evil replied in self-defence that they were doing so out of love and care for the person whom they were slandering. I said  to them: ‘Stop that kind of love, otherwise you will be condemning as a liar him who said: “Him who secretly slanders his neighbour, him I drove away.”1 If you say you love, then pray secretly, and do not mock the man. For this is the kind of love that is acceptable to the Lord. But I will not hide this from you (and of course think about it, and do not judge the offender): Judas was in the company of Christ’s disciples, and the Robber was in the company of murderers. And what a reversal when the crisis came!’”

[In other words, good intentions often end up confused in social situations—we have to be careful of what we do to “pastor” others—to talk about their sins “helpfully.”]

Fire and water are incompatible; and so is judging others in one who wants to repent. If you see someone falling into sin at the very moment of his death, even then do not judge him, because the  Divine judgment is hidden from men. Some have fallen openly into great sins, but they have done greater good deeds in secret; so their critics were tricked, getting smoke instead of the sun.”

[We must be very careful about judgment: we have to understand how partial our knowledge is. Even people in the world, without faith, can recognize this, but we are often over-confident as Christians…]

Hasty and severe judges of the sins of their neighbor fall into this predicament because they have not yet attained to a thorough and constant remembrance and concern for their own sins. For if anyone could see his own vices accurately without the veil of self-love, he would worry about nothing else in this life, considering that he would not have time enough for mourning for himself even though he were to live a hundred years, and even though he were to see a whole river Jordan of tears streaming from his eyes. I have observed that mourning, and I did not find in it even a trace of calumny or criticism.

[We have to understand that often our judgment of others, and the words we speak about others boomerang back to us. We might also say, with modern jargon, that our judgments on people and situations are often a projection of our own disorders.]

Self-esteem without any other passion can ruin a man, and in the same way, if we have formed the habit of judging, we can be utterly ruined by this alone, for indeed the Pharisee was condemned for this very thing.

[We have to remember that judgment of others ruins a whole mountain of virtues. And what does it spring from? Pride, but also speed in speaking before our knowledge is complete. Pride forms in the indiscipline of our mouths and even our thoughts. If our thoughts would only reside in meditation on beauty, in perpetual song, in the deep joyful sorrow of repentance, in the blessed folly of love—then we would not accidentally fall into judgment.]

In the preceding chapter we spoke briefly of how extremely dangerous it is to judge others and of how this vice steals into even the most apparently spiritual people; and how it is better to subject oneself to condemnation and punishment by the tongue. Now we must show the cause of this vice, and give a proper account of the door by which it enters, or rather, goes out. Talkativeness is the throne of vainglory on which it loves to show itself and make a display. Talkativeness is a sign of ignorance, a door to slander, a guide to jesting, a servant of falsehood, the ruin of compunction, a creator of despondency, a precursor of sleep, the dissipation of recollection, the abolition of watchfulness, the cooling of ardour, the darkening of prayer.

[It is in speech that our virtue falls. We enter into social situations which require judgments that we make quickly, and act upon through speech. Once we allow one thing to come another does, too. All kinds of vices that we don’t know we have jump out of our mouths publicly. This is a source of anxiety for many people, yet we are usually taught to stop the anxiety by adding fuel to the fire (“talk more!” “Be more confident!”), not by restraining our speech (in the confidence of repentance and God’s providence for us) and being content with quiet.]

Deliberate silence is the mother of prayer, a recall from captivity, preservation of fire, a supervisor of thoughts, a watch against enemies, a prison of mourning, a friend of tears, effective remembrance of death, a depicter of punishment, a meddler with judgment, an aid to anguish, an enemy of freedom of speech, a companion of quiet, an opponent of desire to teach, increase of knowledge, a creator of contemplation, unseen progress, secret ascent…The friend of silence draws near to God, and by secretly conversing with Him, is enlightened by God.

[It is better to be quiet with prayer. This does not mean quiet with interior monologues and negative or resentful “ruminations,” but rather the good “rumination” on the name of Christ.]

Peter, having said a word, lamented it bitterly, because he forgot him who said: ‘I said, I will take heed to my ways that I sin not with my tongue,” and the other who said: ‘A fall from a height to the ground is better than a slip with the tongue.

[We can all remember times when speaking has betrayed us and others. We have to remember those times, so we learn to doubt our mastery of the world, and so instead seek the true Master, who we must not betray, as Peter did. YES! We should doubt ourselves! The thing that makes this not self-hate (which some feel with self-doubt) is the love and forgiveness of God. God’s providence and care for us, God’s plan prepared for our good and quiet choices that are calm enough to perceive his presence…]

He who is anxious about his departure, cuts down words; and he who has obtained spiritual  mourning, shuns talkativeness like fire. He who has come to love silence shuts his mouth, but he who delights in wandering about outside is driven out of his cell by his passion. He who knows the fragrance of the Fire from on high, runs from a concourse of men like a bee from smoke; for the bee is routed by smoke, whereas man is hampered by company. Few can hold water without a dam; still fewer can tame an intemperate mouth.

[This is for monks, but it is true for us, too. We should try to speak with others out of love and true communication from the heart, not multiplying words unnecessarily either in social situations, or even in our minds. So much of social interaction is busy and noisy, is set up to lead us by the nose into temptations of all sorts. It echoes in our thoughts, in all kinds of passions. Social situations teach us to desire things which we don’t truly desire, to depict ourselves and others falsely, and to need the unnecessary. Notice that St John points to the fire from on high, the same fire we see on Pentecost. We shouldn’t think that it made the Apostles more talkative… it made them fanatics of theology. The word fanatic comes from the Latin “fanum” or temple. The fire from heaven made them want to speak divine things alone. It destroyed their social “graces,” or rather--vices, and made them people who wanted to draw others to the place where worldly social converse is broken, like the tower of Babel, and instead all drop their normal social anxieties and obsessions and sing a hymn to God, and thus build up the Church, the temple, where human action all becomes liturgy.]